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A conversation is recounted in the book # Shantaram  in which the character, Khaderbhai, says: “There is no such thing as believing in #G...

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Wednesday, 8 May 2013

"...SOMETIMES MY FEELINGS GET IN THE WAY..."


I was speaking to someone the other day who was sounding and feeling disheartened about some expected opportunities which had not yet materialised.  The usual vitality in her voice was gone, her natural exuberance and enthusiasm for life was palpably diminished and she was sounding negative about several incidents which had come into her life, uninvited and unwanted.

The next day I learnt that literally over-night a couple of the doors on which she had been knocking and which had been unanswered at the time of our first discussion, opened.  That day a few bouncy messages came in from her: “My energy is back… sometimes my feelings get in the way… I am inspired to work even harder now…”.  She acknowledged her own dip the previous day and saw how her feelings (of despair, disappointment, frustration and anxiety) had got in the way when her mind had started playing games with her after her expectations were not met. 

How easy is it for us to let our minds get in the way and start telling ourselves things like: “You’re not going to make it … You’re going to fail….You’re a loser … You’re a failure … You’re not good enough” when our expectations and demands are not adequately met?  The moment we have expectations, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment when they are not met.  By all means, put some realistic expectations in place, but understand that if they are not met, your potential for suffering increases exponentially.

Also understand that, whenever you are feeling down, it is merely because your mind has got you and is making statements which, when you test them for truth, will almost always be found to be untrue.  Noticing your feelings will be the way you know your mind has started playing loser games with you.  Notice your feelings: if any are getting in your way, check out what untruths your mind has been telling you about yourself, others and Life.

2 comments:

  1. Hello Andrew, I was just noticing that, instead of wanting to work, my attention was wandering to being upstairs to have a little nap. Now naps can be great and my sleep was disturbed last night but having checked out my state I found a little energy vacuum. I had written something to one of my team members last night that I was unsure of his response to .....and hadn't had a reply. Interesting that his lack of words and the availability of space was all that was needed for my mind to fill it with negative possibilities and to remind me of other times in which the responses which I had received weren't what I was hoping for. Then I read your blog and it was an exact description of what was happening. So, I am going to take 3 breaths,(taken), drink some water, shake the tension out of my body and tell the truth about the intentions behind my email to him and the nature of our relationship. I don't know how he is going to respond and I am open to hearing his reality. When I take a moment to think about this young man and his personal journey my heart feels full and a smile is on my face. I am blessed by his presence in my life and by your wise words which ring a little bell of recognition in me. Thank you. Zoe Grace

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  2. Hi Zoe Grace,

    Not sure if I ever responded to this, but I came across it just now and wanted to make sure that you knew you had been heard and also how grateful I was for your feedback.

    I was wondering if you ever got the response from your team member and if all is well between the two of you.

    Warm regards, Andrew

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