My last few blogs have been about distinguishing market worth from self worth. Today, in this final part, we will look at how we measure self worth.
For market worth purposes, we set a value and offer our services and widgets against that. Even if a client thinks (and says) that he hasn't got value from you, his only basis for that judgment is measured against similar services in the market. However, whether he is wrong or right, that doesn't make you unworthy as a human being. It is only the fear of what others might think of us that allows us to pre-judge the issue and determine ourselves unworthy. And when we are in that fear space, we mark ourselves down, concluding that we deserve less than what we are actually and objectively worth.
Perhaps the danger lies in trying to place a monetary value on our worth. Am I worth 10c an hour, or $1,000 an hour, or something in between? If that market rate is hooked up to our self-worth, the chances are that it will be set lower than our true market rate if we are not truly honoring and respecting our own self worth as human beings. If our sense of self-worth is free-standing and derived purely from the recognition of who we are as human beings, we can comfortably ask for any amount of money and not fear the possible resistance we might get to the invoice.
The simple fact is that none of us can put any price on our worthiness. How do you measure the value of your ability to love and your loveability? What price on connecting with someone authentic and real? How do you buy another's humanity, or empathy or any other true essence of that person? The answer is that you cannot, because those are all priceless.
As there is no one of us who does not have those qualities and the capacity to exhibit and live them, it is incumbent on each of us truly to honour and respect the inestimable value of our worthiness. The only challenge is to recognise it. Once you do, you cannot possibly thereafter obfuscate your need to earn money with the realization of who you truly are and what you bring to the Universe.
So the secret of asking others for money is to honour yourself first and foremost. Then transcend the fear of what they might think of you: it doesn't really matter in the end. The only thing that matters is that YOU honour and respect yourself (objectively) for who you truly are. If that piece is handled, the rest is a piece of cake.